Wow this adoption rollercoaster is crazy tough! It has been an exhausting week. This last Monday the director of our agency traveled to Congo to visit with the children and meet with the lawyer and talk with the embassy to better understand the process. We had sent in our care package for our sweet Hope and were so excited to see her opening it and know she was enjoying some special things just for her.
Then the director got to the orphanage where all of our children were supposed to be and none of them were there. Only this is where my heartbreak begins. There was a little girl with the same name as ours who looked similar. Being told this was our "Hope" the director gave her our package and sent us pictures of her opening them. So we get the email from her and I am so excited to open it. Then the first picture pops up and I say "THAT IS NOT MY DAUGHTER!" I look closer through all the photos. No, the skin tone is off. She looks older. There is no scar. Her ears aren't pierced.
In a panic I make a collage photo of the two girls upclose side by side and email it back. Of course by now it is night in Congo. And email is our only contact. Immediately my contact in the office (who I had cc'd) calls me. She says "you are right something is off. I am sure as soon as ___ wakes up we will find out what happened." Then after we hang up she emails me and says I have looked more closely at the pictures and they are definitely not the same girl.
I email the pictures to Chad. I am crying. I am thinking the worst. They have lost my daughter... They are going to try to get me to accept this child and she is not my daughter. I just need to go find her... Thank you God for giving her a scar so I could prove she is my daughter...
After crying off and on all evening I lay awake in bed waiting for morning in Congo. Finally I get an email at 2:41 am saying "I will show this picture to the lawyer and the orphanage."
I lay awake the rest of the night. Then wait for business hours to call the office. When I talk to them they say that the kids were supposed to be moved to a specific orphanage. Maybe they moved the wrong "Hope". The office then calls later that afternoon (evening in Congo) and says that they have located her and that is indeed the case. They sent the wrong "Hope". The director will try to get me pictures tomorrow.
I wait on pins and needles all the next day. Finally in the late afternoon I call the office. No, they have not heard from the director other than a bad reception phone call saying she was out of money and that she had no power or internet that night.
I wait the whole next day. Friday. End of the business week for the office. End of the trip for the director. The next day she flies home. Nothing. Finally I call at 4:50. No they have had no contact with her this day.
She gets to the orphanage and none of our children are there except "Hope". The children were all on government waiting child orphan lists. So they are all in government orphanages and the government moves them around. So she starts tracking down kids. She finds them all and is able to visit with all but three. Hope is too far away and she has run out of money and time. Everyone there demands a fee. She has to fly home with her daughter and Ethiopian contact.
The good things to come from the trip are that her Ethiopian contact was able to work with the lawyer and sort out the process and what needs to be done to keep the kids safe while they wait for court. The director was able to meet with the Embassy and find out how to make that (the longest part of the adoption process in Congo) go more smoothly and even made a contact with a name and phone number to talk to. She was also able to get 13 more kids to the doctor and ready for referral.
She was finally able to email me on Sunday afternoon to tell me that she had not been able to see Hope. She was stuck in Ethiopia for quite a while trying to get home because of hurricane Irene. She finally walked in the door at 9:10 and got on a live chat immediately with all of us Congo adoptive families to tell us about the trip.
She told me not to worry. They will do their best to get the lawyer to get us a picture to ease our minds.
I will do my best. But could you rest knowing your daughter was lost in Africa?
3 comments:
My heart absolutely aches for you. There are simply no words. ::hugs and prayers going out to you today::
-another DRC Mama-to-be
Sending you love and prayers! I could not imagine my daughter being lost in Africa. But God knows where she is and He has great plans for you all!!
If there is one thing I am sure about, it is the power of a mother’s love when it is actively engaged in the life of a child. Your little one who has been through more in her life than most of us can even imagine. And here you are, on the other side of the world, advocating on her behalf. I will never understand why we need to endure such difficulties, but I know in my heart that the world is a better place because of mothers like you. Stay strong and take great care of yourself! I pray that you will all be together soon.
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