Not me Monday

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The weekend version:

I did not realize when we went to the mall on Friday night that it had been the first time since Andy was born.

We did not give in and let each kid go in a special store and spend $10.

We did not spend waaaaaaaaaaaaay to much time in the cell phone store deciding what phones to get.

Gabi did not play with the sample iphone for all of 30 seconds before she was watching a Hannah Montana music video on it.

I certainly did not chain my two year old down in his stroller (his worse punishment) and give him jelly beans to keep quiet.

I did not miss Evan's first ever goal in soccer because I was coaching Gabi at the same time. And our team most certainly did not lose 7-0 in said game.

I am definitely not stupid and careless enough to slice my finger wide open with the lid to a soup can. And if I did I would definitely not refuse to go to the ER because I wanted to spend that money on a new phone NOT a copay to get stitches. So I would never have let it bleed uncontrollably while my husband tried to convince me to go the hospital and then get it to stop by pinching hard and holding it over my head for an hour. I would never ignore my sweet daughter who kept saying "I really think we should go now Mommy!"

I did not then go back to the mall with all three kids. Without the stroller. I of course didn't bribe them with Auntie Anne's pretzels to keep them still while we bought our new phones.

I would never have bought Chad and I a pizza pretzel to share and then absolutely fall in love with this new snack.

I didn't pass right by a sports store six times in said weekend and forget to buy the navy soccer socks I needed.

I didn't use my new phone to check every few minutes for an email that would cancel my soccer game on Sunday due to the downpouring rain.

After not receiving any such email, I did not go out and play an entire soccer game in the pouring down rain like only a teenager should. I didn't play that whole game only to tie 0-0. I certainly did not watch one by one as my teammates and opponents face planted in the puddles until finally it happened to me.

I have not used my new phone to play on facebook more this weekend than i have the entire time I have been using it.

I did not finally plan Gabi's birthday with only 16 days to spare.

I would never beat my kids mercilessly at Uno Flash twice in one night.

And now that I can text I am not considering signing up for twitter just to follow MckMama.


*** pics taken with phone