The differences in personalities

Every child is different. We all know that. But you like to think that you can instill certain qualities like empathy and hard work. I am not so sure. Sometimes I think it is much more nature that nurture. For example yesterday: We went outside to shovel the snow. Gabi was hard at work shoveling. Evan was dumping snow down her back. I sent Evan to shovel the steps. He cried and complained and finished three steps in the time it took Gabi and I to shovel all the way down the sidewalk and around the corner and down the other sidewalk. I was shoveling and Gabi was going behind me cleaning off what was left behind. Evan then gave up and took off his gloves and used the knocker to knock on the unlocked door which made the dog bark and woke up the baby. Gabi went off to play in the snow. Evan then stood on the porch and cried because he wanted to play too but his hands were cold. So put your gloves on son. Of course now he is crying so he Can't put them on. And rather than ask he will stand there and cry. Eventually (with a hint from me) he asked and I helped and he had fun sledding.

Later I came downstairs to find the toilet full and I mean FULL of toilet paper. When I asked Gabi what happened, instead of telling me, she just reached out and flushed. And the toilet overflowed. She and Evan had been giving their webkins baths and they were drying them off with toilet paper. Evan reacted to this with a giggly sorry and ran off downstairs. Gabi went crying into her room and started singing this song "I am the worstest girl. The worstest, worstest, worstest. You might think I am the bestest but I am the worstest." We had a talk about the fact that she is the best girl but she just made a bad choice. She was still feeling guilty at bedtime and asked me if I was angry with her.

So how with the same parenting do you get one child who tears up at the thought of getting in trouble and one who is unaffected. Don't take this the wrong way. Evan is a great kid and I couldn't love him more. He still cuddles on my lap and tells me I am the best mom ever. He tells incredible stories and adores his sister. His smile lights up any room. He is already learning to read. His lego creations are amazing. He prays with all his heart. I just want to know how to teach him empathy and compassion for others.